ASD! Please help!!!

No smartass  Patrick Einstein Albert Obahiagbon i wasnt planning on spelling out ASDA, i actually meant ASD as in Attention Seeking Disorder. The term attention seeking (or drawing attention) is a form of situation managing and generally reserved for such situations where excessive and "inappropriate attention seeking" is seen.[1] It can be voluntarily or involuntarily. The term is most often used in domestic, theatrical, tactical, marketing, and other situations. It also can be used as........*snoring and drooling* (WikiPedia can be boring when its not about Hitler, Abacha or Ted Bundy). Enough with the digression! Its a psychological defect which a lot of great people are dealing with. This dude that comes up on your TV with irrelevant information which he and his mindless minions (i think it should be the other way round) purport to be relevant. Whats his name again, he got an award one time like that 'the most cursed president', still cant remember. Moving on. Basically its become a widespread disorder which i believe should be curtailed immediately. I mean this is really really serious. Really really really really serious (cant seem to come up with a word to show how pertinent and percarious it is). There should be a committee on this. Headed by Chuck Norris of course. Brick top (Snatch,yes Im a Guy Ritchie fan,youll be mental not to be). Wendy the black fat lady on BET (I DISLIKE HER) to handle media relations,definitely some Bruce Banner for security, and Dr Sheldon Cooper,just to piss some people off ! TOP THAT!

 
My study of this viral disorder has left me with the ability to single out its cause and yes its host. Twitter..dumdumdumdummm!. I know it looks like im digging my own grave right, but hear me out. Its the subtle truth. Its a world of sharing information and networking and all sorts as you may,but what you eat ,what you are wearing,where you are, remains all that and NOT INFORMATION. I repeat NOT INFORMATION for emphasis.

I stumbled upon Twitter early 2009, April to be precise. Okay i didnt exactly stumble on it,its not a porno site now is it. I went out of my way to be on Twitter but then it was yet to be a rave (i think). Angelic in its intrisic nature. Yet to be violated and molested by the thoughts of my generation. A simple platform for sharing relevant information, such a wonderful world then. Then came the era of Stupiditas. The era where sharing obscene pictures and videos would make you a goddess, Yes i am talking about Kim Kardashian. It was and is insane. And thus it all began, the birth and spread of ASD!! 

SYMPTOMS OF ASD

- Consulting your followers before making a crucial life changing  decision

- Re-tweeting ('reposting of comments' for the twillitrates) of almost every single alphabet that comes up on your timeline ('profile' for the twillitrates)

- Taking  random cheap shots at Facebook. (We know its dead but come on, the dude is still flippin rich ya know!) 

- Having and using more than one twitter handle ('profile name' for the twillitrates).

- Tweeting about what you are eating atm (we thank God you can afford some decent meal but who gives a ****, keyboards messing up, ****!!)

If you are suffering from any of these symptoms contact THE COMMITTEE  and you shall be prescribed the required not-so medical attention known as 'finally beating sense into your existence'. If symptoms persist please find your way to the nearest Guru Maraj Temple and like the rest of its habitants seize further communication with normal people. 

Thank you.